This Way to Egress

A clever carnival trick – for that is one should expect to have done to them at a carnival – that used to be employed by particularly spiteful con artists would be to charge a small fee to see one or more distastefully disfigured and eccentric men, women and beasts. Besides passing off a severe case of neurofibromatosis as an ‘elephant man’, a case of Ehlers-Danlos as ‘stretchy rubber woman’, and a boy eating fried chicken as a ‘man-eating chicken’ (oh wait, that was the “Little Rascals”), other eccentricities abounded to make for a delightful ‘pay-per-view’ side show. The real trick, however, came at one carnival in particular where guests were charged one low rate to see a multitude of different exhibits; the first of which they encountered upon entering the gate was a sign saying “This Way to Egress.” The majority of folks of rural upbringing did not have access to a thesaurus and lacked the cosmopolitan vernacular to know that an ‘egress’ was not some type of exotic bird but rather an ‘exit.’ Disappointment would ensue after rounding the corner and being shuffled out of the boundary of the exhibits without seeing so much as an emu or kidney bean passing for a pigmy’s kidney. Sometimes, exits are on purpose, however. Exiting a burning building should have quite the intentionality and exuberance and should exhibit little in the way of wavering, except to quickly consider how to also evacuate a handicapped person with no elevator access. Some borders are drawn by men, and show up only on idealized maps; some borders are drawn by God and show up in the form of miles of ocean water. Some borders have concrete walls with border patrol agents and assault rifles (of which, some wish there were more). For better or worse, Her Majesty’s kingdom has done an about face on its continental neighbors. Whether this inspires further fits of nationalistic pride and fractures off France with a “Frexit”, or Germany with “Germexit” (no pun intended), or whether it swells the bubble of centralization and causes the Euro to soar and the pound to plummet, two things are for sure: first, sooner or later, people recognize the benefits of decentralized, local, small government – after all, if you will govern yourself you will not have to be governed by another. Dissenting opinions of this should consult the citizens of former centralized-power regimes such as those under Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Mao Zedong, and Pol Pot. Second, and more importantly, “In the Lord’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him;” or, we might say ‘the queen’s heart’ – “God save the queen.”